At times when people come into my life, I expect that they do and provide more over doing and providing less. I expect them to do more because I have done more and will do more by them. I expect them to give Love because that is what I give to those around me. I expect them to be kind and caring with me. If I do for you when you are down, I expect the same Loyalty when I am down too. Whether they are just a shoulder to cry on or an ear to talk too. I expect to be given back what I put in. I thought that this was the way to not only gain respect from others but to give it as well.
Sometimes I tend to get sad and often feel the pains of life deep down in my heart because I always have to pick up after everyone else but no-one else picks up after me willingly. I am the one that is serious about my every word to others and not them to me. I would not make a promise I cannot keep. I would not hurt you if you haven’t hurt me. Yet I am always alone and suffering unknown to the world because I seem strong and capable of getting through anything because for the little I had, I have came a long way to others.
Deep down I am still scarred by the evil of this life. To give my love even when others have stumped on it before as if my love meant nothing to them, just to keep on getting hurt again. From giving the shirt off my back, to having others take my pants off also without covering me up, warm and without asking first. To give my last when I though others was on their last. To only find out the others had more so me giving multiplied theirs and left me with nothing.
They lie and hide the things they have, knowing I would give more. To the many ones that could have help me as a child but chose to turn a blind eye because life did not give them the responsibility of me. Family or not we should all be responsible to eachother. No-one should keep from another what he can afford to give. And one should take from another what he can get on his own.
I am always the one saving others when no one would ever save me. Every time someone says that they will do me no harm, has turned out to be a lie. At times others has begged for my forgiveness and kindness only to forsake me again.
But then others would say…… Well That’s life For Yah! And guess what? It is ok because they are absolutely right. Everyone goes through tuff times but these tuff times is what shows you the people that are meant to be in your life and the one’s that are not. Seeing the one’s that are meant to be in your life and enjoying them is worth all the pains.
Too want more than what others can or came to give you, would always turn out to hurt you because what we need from others they would not always know how to provide. It is up to us to know when not to Love or Fight and to know when not to give or do unnecessarily. Doing kind and good acts can be bad to our benefit but good to others. A act should only be done when both parties benefits.
But how would you know when something is unnecessary without others telling you so?Well to me if something causes pain and you choose to fight for it then if the pain doesn’t stop that is unnecessary. If the pain that you feel from other’s doesn’t stop sooner than later, that is how you know that a thing or situation is bad for you. You should not have to keep feeling pain when doing for others. Yes we are humans and are subjected to pain but one’s pain should not be everlasting or caused by another.
If someone is willing to do you harm and cause you pain, it is best to move away from these situations and or people because the anger and rage that has built up from these situations inside of you, would come out eventually.
When the anger is out, those that caused it would be Proud of what they have done or can do to you. Creating in you a beast that would only be able to attack you. A beast that can be tamed by only them because they know the Ingrediencies that they have put into you and the time it took so when this beast comes out to attack them, it is only you that would be attacked by the beast that would be nearly impossible to be tamed by you because you were not always aware or was not fully paying attention to what has been happening to you.
And this my dear ones is what life really is. If someone was meant to show us only one thing in life, then so it shall be. How can one be less satisficed if more isn’t given to him by that person. Yes! to get more out of some-one would be a gift from life but to receive less than what is expected would turn into a curse.
Even asking for more would turn into a curse. If someone was meant to show you one thing and then leave your life, asking for more would stop what was on it’s way to you. Receiving less from life, creating pains that would or should not have been in your path if you didn’t bring this upon thy self.
You will always be unhappy waiting for others to do onto you as you do onto them. One cannot put something on someone else or on life just because they wanted and expected more.
To want less and expect less from life, people would always leave you with more. The little that someone does would become a lot to you because your expectations was low. Too expect more and want more from life would always leave you with less because you are the only one capable of giving more to yourself, so don’t matter what others can give to you, what you can give to yourself would always be more.
No one is capable of doing what you can do for yourself in your life… Other’s can help you reach places you want to get to but no other human is capable of carrying himself and you also. He can carry himself but if he carries you then you would change and become him too. To be and remain the unique you, only you can heal yourself and do for you what no-one else in this world can do for you. Waiting on another would always leave you lonely and without.
Yes life is hard and it hurts but to know the parts that do hurt us and to Stop it is what will helps us to make the impossible, possible, along with us coming together as ONE.
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